i don't know

so this is the third time that i'm posting on here today. i don't really know why.

i just finished re-reading the perks of being a wallflower again and i loved it again. every time i read it i forget how much i loved it the last time and i get more and more out of it. i think it's because i am learning more and more about myself so each time i read it i can understand more fully what charlie is saying. i am realizing just how much i relate to him. it's sad that i'm relating so much to a fictional person haha. i think that i feel a lot of the same things that he does, they're just way demagnified for me.

i was thinking about why i have this "blog" in the first place. it's not really to share my mediocre style or my silly thoughts or so that anyone in particular will read it. i think i have this because i need some form of expression that's just words and pictures and not some silly poetry or painting or whatever that i'm still just mediocre at. and i could write in a journal or something, but this way there's some possibility for communication. i know that it is extremely unlikely that there is anybody anywhere reading this, but knowing that it's out there for anyone to see is more satisfying than writing in a spiral notebook stashed under my bedside table.

it is now four a.m. and i still can't sleep. thanks diet coke. i'm not going to try and force myself to sleep either, even though i'll regret that when i'm at work tomorrow.

goodnight nobody.